Ok here goes nothing:
Dear Too-the-moon (https://www.deviantart.com/too-the-moon)
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm joining the monastery. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me outside of Chicago and I saw you sit on Manchester United's goalkeeper. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning your contact book to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of the incarnation as an eskimo .
Good luck on your short-term leave from jail, WolfGirl-CatGirl (https://www.deviantart.com/wolfgirl-catgirl)
-HOW TO FILL IT IN-
Dear
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I thin